The Lyre-in-ChiefHubris Frump is a lyre. Backed by his cabinet of bagpipes and with the discord of his narcissistic malady, he unflinchingly fights truth to expose it as nothing but fraud in all of its beats and temperaments.


LipstickSeedee McSleezy, a sizzling sham in rouge, fuchsia and lilac, joins the lineup of propaganda spewing mass media deceivers farcically hyped as Press Secretary.



PlungerTarah Humblebee Glanders, concocted and now gone Press Secretary, response evader, and spin burgermeister with collapsed integrity receptors and lifeless sensitivity, was the clan’s hoof-and-mouth with a kick.



NutTsetse DeFarce, the regime’s billionaire Education Secretary, is a most galvanized and compromised piece of hardware with the detonating determination to see the private sector vie for a share of her persuasion and prophecies program known as Students Profit Immensely Tomorrow (SPIT).


Connydone ConplayConnydone Conplay, counsels her boss on linguistic slight of tongue techniques to avoid such confusing and unpalatable mumble jumble as truth, fact, accuracy, correctness; and she is always ready to inject her potion to give things their needed fix.



CannonSleaze Cannon, the invented “Chief Strategist” and messy premonition at the farthest right edge of a flat Earth, was the Mephistophelian heart and soul of the ruling club.



PlungerShawl Shysta, the previous Press Secretary, had the despicable task of ensuring what the regime produced flowed controllably to select members of a select media. While sticking to his sticky notes, he gave the tint and tenor of things a twist to sell the smell as a breath of fresh air.



DetritusSenator Lentil Gramm of South Cattlebalonia, one of his party’s Faustian detour-retour specialists, is still caught in a don’t-ask-don’t-tell mindset of his mercenary days and refuses to come out of the closet.



DetritusDetritus has the wisdom that comes from all that he has been entrusted, from actual waste to trendy garbage, and from secrets quickly discarded to tangibles he can safely hold while serving as a makeshift container. Even though he might have his fill with rubbish, he never talks trash, and his cerebral observations are a stunning contradiction to his weakness for mindless television programs.


Oracle LottieOracle Lottie has the gift of an ancient medium to dispense prophecies, advice and ambiguities in mysterious proportions; and she is endowed with the power to intellectually wrestle and pin the best to the ground.



SchmutzSchmutz can’t help but run his mouth without frontal lobe oversight. This obvious lack of a critical social skill allows for unhindered statements and inquiries, making him the envy of those who wished they could.



Senator HackSenator Hack knows that truth and politics aren’t bedfellows. This foundation is for him just the fertile ground for free seeding and harvesting. He is a savvy, buoyant bureaucrat, who, until now, has gone from one term-limited office to another for an unceasing political life and the reaping of whatever fruit there is.


MikeMike, the media guy, jumps with bipolar accuracy between mainstream media’s verbiage doodle and broadcast babble on the affected side, and on the recovery side we see him with the journalistic confidence of a hard-hitting reporter.



QuatschQuatsch has seen ’em all: what’s suppressed, what’s placated, what’s scandalized, what’s propagated, what’s censored and what’s embellished. He has witnessed publishers and editors fight against corporate giants to keep journalism alive, and he has seen those that caved in long ago. Given the expansion of this barren landscape, only his sense of humor has managed to preserve his sanity.


DrizzleDrizzle is like your average Joe. He has his disdains, his prejudices and big opinions about very little things, and he doesn’t think much about what’s dished out, or by whom, or for what purpose.



ShroudShroud is more than shadowy, nebulous and murky; and given the nature of his slipperiness, it’s not always easy telling who his benefactors are and who the beneficiaries of his undertakings.



His AbstinenceHis Abstinence clinches to his ever-shrinking congregation while awaiting the miracle of reversal, which he secretly sees in the gradual conversion of ancient taboos to sanctions and prerequisites.



SatoriSatori, with his Pride-colored heart, won’t bow to this doctrine or that dogma, to this tenet or that canon without a pious fight. He is the catalyst in the chemistry of change.



The SignThe Sign lives a multifaceted life shy of an identity disorder. His language pendulum swings between the archaic and the futuristic, and between poetry and the absurd, giving his representative voice the clarity and perspective we demand but seldom get.




Zeta Beta Alfalfa, a footnote as a faculty member, stopped publishing verbiage in favor of administering academic panhandling and associated internal stifling, muzzling and gag ordering.




Pollster Spin has to feel the pulse behind what most see as cold numbers, and he doesn’t mind applying interpretive pressure to get that sensational beat.



Scribe, the screenwriter, weekend poet and wordsmith wonder is there to compose the needed line, whether rough, polished or schmaltzy, or by accident or intent.



LensLens is one of the industry’s hyphenates, who, while working his visual splendor often as a producer-director, has been there and done that – good, bad and indifferent, but mostly bad.



Shotput ShinguardShotput Shinguard chants Olympic ideals that energize him during his competitions while being routinely lapped by loaded interests on their run for gold.



Komrade Autokrat Gennady RasputinKomrade Autokrat Gennady Rasputin works between dusk and dawn with a bloody sense of wit, a flair for decadent distortions, and a penchant for annexation.



GuardovGuardov, the supreme guard and checker of all things secret and suspicious, carries out his orders while erect to detect those wanting to defect.



InterpreterInterpreter is a curious blend of an intellectual and a man in the street, who, depending on his fluctuating mood, can render the message in tempered terms or as troubling talk.